News

I haven't posted in awhile so I'll wrap everything up in one sentence: old people can sometimes really suck, they call the cops on you when you go swimming in the pool at 9:15 p.m.; also, I hate people who force you to make conversation with them and then tip two dollars on a 3o dollar check--that's just a slap in the face--I liked the movie Evan Almighty because there were polar bears in it; if you haven't tried a drink called the Pink Panty Pull-down, you really should; if you see the movie Knocked Up, cover your eyes during the birthing scene.

Today I...

...went to an early-morning meeting at the restaurant. I thought everyone else would be wearing pajamas, which would make it okay for me to wear a t-shirt with holes in BOTH of the armpits. I was wrong.

...vacillitated about whether I should (a) go for a run afterward, taking advantage of an occasion on which I was awake before it became deathly hot outside or (b) go to Chick-Fil-A for breakfast. I went for a run...mistake. Never choose running over chicken biscuits.

...ate some goldfish crackers that I found in the back of the fridge. They did not belong to me. They were delicious.

...met a nice older man swimming in the pool at the condo where I'm staying.

...coveted an alligator-shaped pool float on sale at Publix. I wasn't sure it would fit in my car, so I bought some cookies instead...they fit in my car.

...watched "Hitch" on tv. That Will Smith is so smooth.

Ft. Myers: Notes on my Arrival in a Strange Apartment in a Strange City to work a Waitressing job

1. Driving down, a piece of my windshield falls off.

2. I pull up to the apartment complex, which really looks more like a beachside motel. I can't decide if this is a bad thing or a good thing. Walking up the stairs, I have a flash of uncertainty as to whether this was actually a good idea or rather of the type that shouldn't have progressed past the hypothetical.

3. The apartment is decorated in a Safari Jungle motif--there are lions, tigers, camels, zebras, elephants, and monkeys in various decorative forms--and not in a Pier 1 mainstream kind of way. In a weird way.

4. After describing this to Katy, she and I decide that "WILD" will be the summer's theme; e.g., whenever a decision has to be made, we will choose the wilder of the two options.

5. There is a Sonny's BBQ about a mile from the apartment. This is a good/bad thing, sort of like getting really really drunk or eating a lot of donuts is a good/bad thing.

6. There is a questionable bedding situation. There are no sheets on the bed in the master bedroom, which I want--at least for now--because the room has a TV (and the bed is the size of a lake; seriously, it's huge). In the closet are some messily-folded sheets. Are they clean? Are they filthy? It's impossible to tell. I tell myself that probably-clean sheets are better than no sheets (I only brought a twin set) and try to imagine what diseases one might catch by sleeping on unlaundered sheets. Psoriasis? I later realize that this is completely, absolutely, besides the point.

7. I spread my twin sheet over the other sheet. I'm happy with that.

I'm back, baby!

I'm BACK.

For those of you who remember my first blogging effort, rejoice. I'm bringing my blog back, mostly so I have an outlet to chronicle my experiences as a food server in South Florida.

Just to be safe, and in the case that I choose to continue my blogging efforts into situations in which I don't want particular persons to know what a hateful/incompetent person I am, I'm not going to post my entire name on my blog. So, if you choose to leave a comment, please don't include any of my identifying information (last name, social security number, etc).